Political gaffes have gained quite the following over the past few years. People loved to hear the misunderestimated Bush stumble verbally, and the topic has become the subject of many books and websites. I thought I’d share some political gaffes and insults from north of the border. So without further ado …
Top Canadian Political Gaffes:
“As long as I am Prime Minister, I remain the Prime Minister.”
– Jean Chrétien, former Prime Minister.
“They don’t know what they’re talking about. I don’t know who this group is. I’ve never heard of them before. I had never seen them before. They’re located somewhere in Geneva.”
– Mel Lastman, former Mayor of Toronto on CNN talking about the World Health Organization during Toront0’s SARS crisis.
“My conduct had nothing to do with me.”
– Al McLean, former Ontario MPP and Speaker of the Ontario Legislature, defending his conduct during a sexual harassment case.
“Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde here thanks you from her bottom, too.”
– Montreal Mayor Camillien Houde speaking to King George VI in 1939.
“My strategy has always been to stay on course unless a change, of course, is announced. And if it is, of course, we will announce it.”
– John Turner, former Prime Minister.
“Canada is the greatest nation in this country.”
– Allan Lamport, Mayor of Toronto from 1952-1954.
“If this thing starts to snowball, it will catch fire right across the country.”
– Robert Thompson, leader of the Social Credit Party from 1961-1967
“What the hell do I want to go to a place like Mombasa? Snakes just scare the hell out of me. I’m sort of scared about going there, but the wife is really nervous. I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me.”
– Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman prior to departing for Kenya to promote Toronto’s 2008 Olympic bid.
Jean Chrétien talking about the Middle East conflict:
“The best positive thing you can do is not to tell them to stop on both sides to fight and to go back to talk is the only way out of that. And it’s what I said and I said that.”
“My style of leadership, uh, and in my former role as well, was to state what my idea was but also to encourage, uh, you know, I know what I know and I know what I don’t know.”
– Conservative Leader Candidate Belinda Stronach in 2004.
“I am not denying anything I didn’t say.”
– Prime Minister Brian Mulroney.
Top Canadian Political Insults:
“Paul Martin commits to positions like Britney Spears commits to marriage.”
– Stephen Harper, while announcing his candidacy for leader of the Federal Conservative Party in 2004.
“You little fat little chubby little sucker.”
Ontario Premier Ernie Eves: “Mr. McGuinty just says whatever pops into his little, sharp, pointy head because he thinks that’s what you want to hear.”
Ontario Liberal Leader Dalton McGuinty: “What if I spear you with my head?”
“Gentlemen, we all must realize that neither side has any monopoly on sons of bitches.”
– C.D. Howe, Liberal cabinet minister representing Canada at a Washington DC meeting to resolve a shipping dispute.
“My honourable friend on the other side of the House is big enough to swallow me, and if he did he would have more brains in his belly than he has in his head.”
“There is an old saying that is very difficult to hear when your mouth is open.”
“What is the difference between a cactus and a conservative caucus? On a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.”
– John Diefenbaker, former Prime Minister.
“He’s the greatest argument for birth control that I’ve ever come across.”
– Mel Lastman referring to Toronto City Councillor Michael Walker.
“All the evidence suggests that the Liberals want to look after impoverished Canadians – why else would they have created over four million of them?”
– Federal PC Leader Brian Mulroney in 1984.
“Dalton McGuinty. He’s an evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet.”
– Ontario PC news release on September 12, 2003.
“The Liberals are a beanbag kind of party that looks like the last person that sat in it.”
– Bob Rae, Premier of Ontario 1990-95 and current Liberal MP.
“Damn Americans, I hate those bastards.”
– Liberal MP Carolyn Parrish expressing her disgust at U.S. plans to attack Iraq.
“I rise on a point of order. Is the relevancy rule to be applied or will this jackass be allowed to continue?”
“Watch out for the wall – as much as I’d like to see some of you guys hit it.”
– Stephen Harper speaking to journalists during the Conservative Party leadership convention in 2004.
” The Liberals are the flying saucers of politics. No one can make head nor tail of them, and they never are seen twice in the same place.”
– John Diefenbaker, former Prime Minister speaking in London, Ontario in 1962.
Random Funny Canadian Political Quotes:
U.S. Secret Service agent: “Who are you and where are you going?”
Prime Minister Lester B Pearson: “I live here and I’m going to the bathroom.”
– in 1967, at the Prime Minister’s house at Harrington Lake. The Secret Service agents were protecting U.S. President Lyndon Johnson who was in Canada for Expo 67 and a meeting with Pearson.
“Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Québec milk it. And you can well imagine what it’s doing in the Maritimes.”
– Saskatchewan Premier Tommy Douglas.
“I was my best successor, but I decided not to succeed myself.”
– Pierre Trudeau, former Prime Minister.
“If you’re a mayor and you have a problem, what do you do? You blame the provincial government. And when you’re the provincial government and you have a problem, what do you do? You blame the federal government. And for us, we cannot blame the Queen any more, so we blame the Americans once in a while.”
– Jean Chrétien, former Prime Minister of Canada.
Agricultural Minister James Gardiner: “What do you know about farming? You’re not a farmer.”
Saskatchewan Premier Tommy Douglas: “I never laid an egg either, but I know more about making an omelette than a hen does.”